IV. Of Whom, To Whom, For Whom

(Piano and singing:)
How can I make you see my heart
Reflected in the mirror?

(Setsuna stops; Kazusa stops playing.)
Kazusa:            What is it, Ogiso? Are you getting tired?
Setsuna:           What time is it?
Kazusa:            Ah, it’s… (she checks the clock.) Oh, it’s past midnight. Suddenly, it’s the day of the show…
Setsuna:           Then, it’s already been six hours since dinner… I guess my throat is a little dry.
Kazusa:            Gotcha. Take a short break for now, then. Compared with the guitar, you’ve got room to spare.
Setsuna:           Speaking of the guitar, where is he?
Kazusa:            Didn’t he just say he was going to take a shower? You don’t remember?
Setsuna:           Oh, I guess he did…
Kazusa:            (chuckles) You must have been focusing really hard.

(1:00)

Kazusa:            Yeah, at this rate, I’d say we don’t need to worry about the vocals. Guess it’s just a matter of having him do his individual practice.
(Setsuna sighs.)
Kazusa:            What’s up? You don’t look happy. Are you not convinced?
Setsuna:           No, I… well, maybe…
Kazusa:            Really? I’m pretty sure you’ll sound fine. Honestly, I think you’re to the point where as long as you don’t mess up any of the lyrics, there shouldn’t be any problems.
Setsuna:           That’s not it. I feel like I haven’t made this song my own yet.
Kazusa:            You’re pretty meticulous, aren’t you, Ogiso? Well, I guess it’s true that you don’t have as much experience as with the other two…
Setsuna:           It’s not a matter of how much I’ve rehearsed it. I haven’t… been able to absorb the song completely.
Kazusa:            Ogiso?
Setsuna:           Every time I try to sing it, there’s something bogging me down. That something is keeping me from getting into the song.

(2:00)

Kazusa:            Wow. You’ve got a really high awareness of the song, huh? To be honest, I hadn’t thought that hard about the meaning of the lyrics.
Setsuna:           Hey, Touma-san…
Kazusa:            Hm?
Setsuna:           How would you interpret these lyrics? What kind of emotion do you think I should put into singing them?
Kazusa:            What kind of…? I don’t know. It’s not like I wrote them. Ask Kitahara.
Setsuna:           I couldn’t ask Haruki-kun something that embarrassing.
Kazusa:            Were you trying to get me to say something that you were too embarrassed to say yourself?
Setsuna:           Please, if you would just… think about it, Touma-san? As though you were the one with this person’s feelings.
Kazusa:            What are you talking about?
(Setsuna begins reciting the lyrics.)
Setsuna:           Are you pretending to be lonely? I couldn’t help but wonder why…
Kazusa:            No, I told you, I wouldn’t do a word of that—
Setsuna:           Next thing I knew, somehow, I wanted you more than anybody else…
Kazusa:            Ogiso.
Setsuna:           How would you convey your feelings to the other person? If you were in this person’s shoes, what would you do?

(3:00)

Setsuna:           Would you say it jokingly, in an attempt to hide your own embarrassment? Would you make a big, self-absorbed show of expressing it? Or would you say it earnestly, straight-out, with no frills, even though you felt awkward and could only say it in a quiet voice?
(Kazusa sighs.)
Setsuna:           Touma-san, what would you do?
Kazusa:            So, if it were me…
Setsuna:           Yeah.
Kazusa:            I think brooding over something like that in the first place is ridiculous. Frankly, this girl is pathetic. Weeping over it even though it isn’t a big deal…
Setsuna:           Touma-san…
Kazuza:            Is that enough? Look, why do I have to keep playing along with something this embarrassing?
Setsuna:           Then, if you…
Kazusa:            You’re still going? Seriously?
Setsuna:           If this person told you how they felt, honestly, without any weeping, would you accept it?

(4:00)

Kazusa:            Stop. Stop making all these meaningless assumptions. Since when do I have anything to do with this?
Setsuna:           I wonder what kind of person it is, the one this person loves.
Kazusa:            Hey, I told you…
Setsuna:           What do you think, Touma-san?
Kazusa:            Ugh, I’m getting chills. Seriously, stop. I don’t want anything to do with that kind of story.
Setsuna:           What do you think of the person with this love that won’t get through? What if you were the person they were thinking of?
Kazusa:            I don’t know! I don’t have a clue what you’ve been talking about this entire time!
Setsuna:           You don’t know?
Kazusa:            Your starting point is wrong in the first place, anyway! This is a song about a woman’s feelings. The one she’s thinking of is a man.
Setsuna:           You think it’s a girl’s feelings? You really think it’s directed at a boy?
Kazusa:            Of course I do. I mean, Kitahara may have written the lyrics, but you’re singing them, Ogiso. He wrote this song for you. Well, I guess the character doesn’t quite suit the school idol singing it, but…

(5:00)

(pause.)
Kazusa:            Ah, that might not have been the best way of putting it. Um, what I mean is…
Setsuna:           Then, who would it suit? A person whose love won’t go anywhere, who can’t do anything… Do you know someone like that, Touma-san?
Kazusa:            Why would I? It’s not like there was a model for this song, anyway.
Setsuna:           Ah…
Kazusa:            This is Kitahara we’re talking about. He probably just read up on loads of romance stories and put together all the terms and phrases he found.
Setsuna:           Mh…
Kazusa:            There aren’t any real feelings in these lyrics. This is just a program that an honors student put together for a general audience. It’s a simple list of symbols put together to play on the emotions of the listener in the most efficient way possible.

(6:00)

Kazusa:            So don’t think about it that hard, Ogiso. Just take it easy, like you always do when you’re singing karaoke.
Setsuna:           (sighs) Touma-san, you…
Kazusa:            Hm?
Setsuna:           You’re a heartless girl.
Kazusa:            …Huh?
Setsuna:           Maybe you just aren’t aware, but… No, that would actually make it even worse.
Kazusa:            What brought this on all of a sudden?
Setsuna:           I’m sorry. My honest thoughts just kind of jumped out.
Kazusa:            (starting to get angry) That’s not an apology!
Setsuna:           I’m sorry.
Kazusa:            What the hell? Tomorrow—no, today is the day of the performance. This is no time for us to be fighting!
Setsuna:           But, but, Touma-san… You really don’t get it?
Kazusa:            Get what?
Setsuna:           What it means for me to be singing this song.  (to herself:) (Me—the only one who makes no appearance in its lyrics.)

(7:00)

Kazusa:            What is there to get?! None of what you’re saying is comprehensible!
Setsuna:           Why don’t you get it, I wonder?
Kazusa:            I’m dumb, okay? All I know about is music.
Setsuna:           It’s not about being smart or dumb. Your feelings are the problem. Whether or not you’re trying to understand. You really don’t know? No matter how you think about it, your answer won’t change?
Kazusa:            Yeah, I’m completely lost.
Setsuna:           After everything I’ve said, you won’t make any attempt to recognize it?
Kazusa:            Ugh, god! Stop! Stop talking about this! Let’s get back to rehearsing!
Setsuna:           Touma-san…
Kazusa:            You were the one who said we don’t have time, right, Ogiso? Come on, let’s do the second one.
Setsuna:           Okay.
(Kazusa starts playing. Setsuna does not come in at her cue.)
Kazusa:            Why aren’t you singing?

(8:00)

Setsuna:           Because I don’t understand these feelings.
Kazusa:            I told you, there was no point asking me.
Setsuna:           No… What I don’t understand are your feelings.
Kazusa:            Ogiso!
(Haruki reenters.)
Haruki:             Hey, I’m back. Phew, that was just what I needed! All right, the next—(he pauses, taking notice of the atmosphere in the room.) Hey, what’s going on?


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